Posts tagged dnd

And so our quest for fortune and glory begins (slowly, ever so slowly)! As our benevolent, patient, and long-suffering DM has mentioned previously, we are the Five Tampon Knights (FTK for polite company), an adventuring group for hire (“We leave a trail of blood, guaranteed” is the classy slogan we settled upon). No doubt you’ve heard of us, as we’ve achieved some minor renown for past feats (or at least  the DM informed us such was the case. For some reason, we can’t recall these previous adventures). Obviously, these feats were glorious, but glory doesn’t keep one fed. Time to hit the road again, it would seem.

Before recounting our awesome escapades, it is only polite to pause and introduce myself. Among the Eladrian people, I am the one, the only, Grendelina, Slayer of Leaves (don’t ask) and Seducer of Men (ask, but only when I’m tipsy, good stories abound). However, to friends, I am merely Wootica, or Woo, or, sigh, to my less than brilliant, (very) distant cousin, Vikinia, “Wooty.” Though a proud Fey, I must confess my past is marked with great tragedy (it seems like everyone here has a tragic past, oddly enough. What’s that about, I wonder). When I was very young, I showed great promise in the Arcane arts. Unfortunately, as I was yet untrained, I inadvertantly burnt down the family home, with most of my family still within it…

Sorry, I needed a moment to recover. Painful memories. After this less than illustrious beginning, I was taken in by…someone…at some university…apparently that part of my memory is a little patchy, but it was a very traumatic time. Still, it’s not all bad news! I have grown more proficient as a result of my studies (accuracy seems to remain a bit of an issue). Moreover, I reconnected with Vikinia, the last of my distant kin after her own misfortune (personal stories are best told by those that experience them). This presents me with the opportunity to make amends for my past shame, as I join her in her quest to avenge her family (I think I just spoiled her story slightly). Furthermore, we are accompanied in our adventures by Ladyboy Bruce Glitterkin, a Dragonborn of indescriminate sex. That’s another lovely little history in which I had a hand, but I will leave it for our dear Ladyboy to tell.

So, on the particular day that you, dear reader, are joining us, we were enjoying a few at the Blue Moon Tavern in Fallcrest, where we set up shop for the time. Where better to drum up business than the place people come to drink their woes away? Opportunities are abundant! As one should expect, kobolds have been hassling a local armorer. After some rather “intense” bargaining, we promised to find their hideout and retrieve our fair armorer’s wagon. Surprisingly, we managed to get to the run-down mansion with no troubles (not a normal occurrence, as I’m sure you’re well aware). Naturally, once in, the “excitement” began, as we encountered two “slingers” and two “skirmishers.” As our skills were rusty with disuse (clearly, we’ve been away from our work too long), it took us about three hours to clean up that little mess. I broke out my Sphere of Flame (and few Magic Missiles), Ladyboy used his/her Dragonbreath, and poor Vikinia almost died (that would have been bad) but not before kicking some kobold butt.  As the evening wore on, and Vikinia bled out, we decided that clearing the front room was enough work for the day, choosing to retire to the tavern for a quick refresher. Naturally, now that we’ve scouted out the area, we’ll return, hopefully with reinforcements (oh yes, we’re hiring)!  

Fortunately, a roving and mystical sketch artist was on hand to capture the spirits that move us.

Here you may see a fine portrait of our DM and his familiar:

And here we are, ready to fight!

And here, my own fine spirit guide demonstrates the Arcane Arts (which we lovingly call “schmizarts”), creating a Sphere of Fire:

Vikinia’s spirit has ample…fighting skills, here demonstrating her ability to cleave with a good natured “Bam!”

Ladyboy’s spirit, despite experiencing some oral numbness (one side-effect of drooling acid, one must suppose) also kicked butt:

And simply because this is my entry, here’s my cheerful spirit bidding you welcome to our quests:

It all started a couple of weeks ago when I was Barnes & Noble. My girlfriend and I noticed the Dungeons & Dragons section and she seemed genuinely interested. I figured, sure, let’s try it out. I bought a red box labeled ‘Starter Set.’ My cat definitely seemed to enjoy it.

After browsing through the pamphlets provided in it, I knew that we would eventually want to play with more races and classes. So over the next few days, I researched only to discover that I needed to get the core books which include the Player’s Handbook, Dungeon Master’s Guide and Monster Manual. I spent quite a few hours reading and rereading the DNG and PHB, not really retaining a whole lot. Clearly, the first few sessions would go a little slow as we got into the swing of the things, as the group, including myself, are (for the most part) noobs to D&D. Sure, I’ve played a few tabletop games a few times with friends, but never a steady campaign. There was always someone who regularly played and would guide us. This time I have to figure everything out from scratch.

After a few weeks of reading the books, looking up D&D blogs,  subscribing to the D&D podcast, and watching the PAX celebrity session with Wil Wheaton, we actually created some characters. Naturally, the power went out while dinner was prepared. Thankfully our gas stove continued to churn out the honey beer chicken. We wasted the last of daylight, then started to play by candle and iPhone light - making sure to save up every ounce of energy we could. My sister used the cover of darkness to create a dice tower.

We were able to (I think) successfully create three characters, save for selecting armor and gear. I got stuck looking up how many powers players were able to choose. The rulebooks can be wordy and starting out is kinda tough when having to flip though so many pages to figure out how things work. It’ll get easier with practice. 

During our second impromptu session, we actually finished selecting equipment, weapons and other various adventuring gear. During the times where I was silently lost in the books looking up rules, the players decided to create some lovely portraits of their characters. It is my honor to present to you:

Grendelina, Slayer of Leaves and Seducer of Men, Or, as she is known to friends, Wootica - an Eladrin Wizard (who clearly has great taste in music and spell-casting)

Vikinia, Daughter of Stevenius - an Elf Fighter (whose inability to spell “humorous” can be attributed to a low intelligence score)

Ladyboy Bruce Glitterkin - a Dragonborn Rogue (that’s acid dripping out of her/his mouth)

Together they are the founding members of the Five Tampon Knights (FTK, for short). If you haven’t figured it out yet, the players are all female with an acute sense of humor. It’s been quite the experience.

Soon I’ll plan out our first actual gameplay session, as well as help our other players create characters. Then we can actually get around to learning how to run encounters. I’m excited to see where the story goes.